The following article about changing your perspective and approach to how
you simply converse with your child about school is intended to stir your
thoughts. Hopefully you will be moved enough to leave your comments following the article.
“Time and tide wait for no man”. Before you know it, your little child is a
teenager, then adult. Throughout this period, the bulk of their time is spent at
school or college, and once they are teens,
they are beginning to make choices for themselves.
If your child is doing
well at school your job is easy. However, if not, it can be difficult when you
feel, because you are not in the school with him, you have little control or
motivational input in his education. Often the picture you only get to see is
that of his homework tasks, and news of any misdemeanor. It is hard knowing what
is really going on, and how you can do your absolute best to help him get the
most he can out of the long time he has at school.
1. It’s important to make
your child aware that what he does at school is important to you, and that you
have a genuine interest in his welfare there. Most parents will admit that
getting a child to talk about school can be like getting blood out of a stone.
Look at the recurring conversations you have with your child. By this I mean,
when your child gets home from school, or at dinner, do you say the same thing
day after day, for example “how was your day at school?” or “what did you do at
school?” Usually the reply will be “nothing” or “boring”. Once you identify
these conversations you can break the cycle, choose something completely
different to say, or totally avoid the subject all together, and then later on
in the day, initiate a conversation along the lines of what he likes about
school, or what he doesn’t like about school. Often, approaching a conversation
in an indirect way allows a child the freedom to be more open. Something will
pop into their head about an event that happened that day, and they will
communicate it to you, so the subject of school is totally initiated by
them.
2. Not only make your child aware that you are interested in what
happens at school, but also make his teachers aware of this. Attend parents’
consultations, with a pre-prepared list of questions. It’s all too easy to walk
away having not asked a vital question because you felt rushed by the
appointment system. Make his teachers aware that you want to support your child
in his education,
and that communication is important in that.
3. Communicating with teachers
is not always easy when they are busy people. Often it is only at parents’
evenings you see them, but they are usually willing to discuss any issues that
come up for your child at any time. Many schools have an email system. You can
email the school office who can then forward your email on to the teacher’s
direct email address. Such an email system can be very useful if, for example,
your child is not communicating his homework tasks, or bringing school letters
and announcements home.
4. Be aware of your child’s homework tasks, and be
available to help him with it. You can support him with class work as well. Many
subjects have periodic tests, and if you know when these will be, then you can
help your child prepare in advance for these. This can make all the difference
to his overall achievement for the year, and his sense of confidence in his own
abilities.
5. Check your child’s class work regularly. Don’t leave it to
parents’ evening to discover he has sat through months of, say, maths, and done
very little. Regular checks will tell you where he needs help. Many children do
not ask for help at school, so do not leave this responsibility to the teacher
only. He or she is a busy person who has lots of children to track and
motivate.
6. Many children find it very difficult to learn through books and
find it even harder to express themselves through pen and paper. Your child may
be excellent at recalling information through speaking, but not through writing.
You can help your child by letting his teachers know this. With this
information, they can possibly teach and test him using different methods, for
example, using oral tests.
And finally, make sure your child has a balanced
view of our world and its expectations. Schoolwork and passing exams isn’t the
whole and only answer to success. Many of the most successful people did not
succeed at school. Einstein was a poor student, preferring day-dreaming to
studying, and was eventually expelled from school for being a disruptive
influence. Yet he was nominated as the greatest creative genius of the 20th
century.
Your role as parents is to stay informed, and to do what you can to
support your child, without overt pressure. Pressure only serves to hinder and
sometimes paralyze children who really do find academia a struggle. Your praise
and support where necessary is what they need.
Loving, peaceful and powerful parenting is possible, with The Chilled Parent.
Visit http://www.chilledparent.com/Ebook.htm to get the informative
ezine.
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